That was all getting old and tiring. I'm ready to get this little blog back to what I originally had intended it for — to share my thoughts, ideas, anecdotes and little poems with the world — not use it to foolishly communicate with someone who doesn't even care that I was hurting about something. And I gave one last attempt at letting that person say something, anything, to me to ease the pain a little, and that didn't happen. Fine, it's fine. I would have preferred any reaction to this, but what can you do? I took a risk, I took it too late and I did it in a really stupid and pathetic way unlike I ever imagined I would. But, as I thought about it this weekend...I wondered what the hell I was thinking? After realizing how unimportant I am to this person, it made me wonder why I cared so long and so much. So I am going to stop. And it made me really want to go for it with this new person... and my most recent little date was absolutely beautiful, because I let go for an evening and stopped being so scared.
Anyway. Whatever. That's just some random ramblings. I deleted a LOT of my old posts. There were about 50, and I've gone down to 16. I just didn't want to live in the past. I deleted a lot of the posts where all I did was complain. I deleted most of the posts where all I did was try to slyly deal with my emotions toward a certain person. And for a while, I think I might try to force myself to stay away from writing about love and relationships. That's boring and gets my writing stuck in a rut, because that is what I always write/complain about and that is always what everyone writes about.
So here's to a new blog — a new way of thinking — a new love — a new Frilz.
I'm excited to see where this goes, and even if you are upset with me for my confessions, I hope you stay along for the journey.
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